INsight/ The Three Leaders

Photo by Arina Dimitrieva on Unsplash.

Ubud, 24 July 2025 — Once upon a time there were Three Leaders… What are you learning from the story?

Story

Once upon a time, there were three leaders. First, there was Leo (we’re not using real names), a junior executive who mimicked the loudest voice in the room, but had not cultivated his own grounding or principles. As a technical expert promoted to manager, Leo assumed that leadership was just a bigger version of his technical work, so he stayed focused on his tasks, jumping in only when things went wrong. Then he would panic and take over, assigning tasks himself and solving everything solo. His colleagues complied, but silently resented the lack of clarity and support. Driven by self-interest and resisting feedback, Leo clung to hierarchy and control, creating confusion and turnover by imposing his ego. He rejected a coaching offer and didn’t see the benefit in leadership development. We can call Leo The Occasional Leader, also known as the reactive leader, noise chaser, accidental leader, default leader, habitual leader, role filler, or positional leader.

Second, there was Daniel, the startup founder finding his voice. He gave brilliant speeches but disappeared when conflict arose, slowly losing the team’s trust. After showing moments of greatness when he inspired colleagues and clients alike, he would then disappoint through gaps in follow-through. While his progress as a leader was visible, it was not consistent. His leadership behaviors fluctuated under stress or change, when he would often regress and pull back into negative habits, like micromanaging, avoiding conflict, and people pleasing. In coaching, Daniel named his pattern “I only lead when I feel confident.” He began to see that waiting for clarity or comfort was a form of self-protection, not leadership. We can call Daniel The Intermittent Leader, also known as the transitional leader, episodic leader, or inconsequential leader.

Third, there was Aisha, an executive who was once driven by ego and then learned to coach her colleagues with openness, curiosity, and empathy. Leading a large team across Asia, she faced the uncertainties by embracing transformational leadership. Her colleagues trusted her, in bold decisions and personal challenges alike. In her early years, she was the classic achiever: results-driven, polished, always on top of things. But a health scare—and a disengaged team—changed everything. She began listening more deeply to her people and to herself. She admitted that her need to control came from fear. She practiced slowing down and invited her team into honest conversations. She no longer had all the answers—and didn’t need to. Her team started taking initiative, offering bold solutions, and speaking up. Trust deepened. In coaching, Aisha said: “I used to think that leadership meant strength. Now I see that it means wholeness.” We can call Aisha The Trusted Leader, also known as the integrated leader, conscious leader, embodied leader, congruent leader, or aligned leader.

Challenge

What to learn from the story of the Three Leaders? First of all, that it’s possible to become a Trusted Leader and that not everyone makes the continual investment to get there. In fact, not everyone in workplaces today even decides to become a leader at all, although every staff member has the potential and possibility to do so. Leadership, after all, is not about positions, but about influencing positive changes, starting with yourself. 

In our workplaces today, we see many managers and experts, and not enough leaders. That’s why at TransformationFirst.Asia we are committed to help more people, especially professionals in their workplaces, to begin their leadership journey and continue all the way to becoming Trusted Leaders. We keep supporting them in that journey, for as long as they wish. 

In our Grow3Leaders community of practice, the longest leadership challenge is a 12-month journey to become Trusted Leaders by learning and practicing twelve effective leadership behaviors. Members join the Trusted Leaders Challenge as a Collab, meaning that they will invite three of their colleagues to form a Collab and take the challenge together. This accelerates their progress and deepens their learning. It’s more fun too than doing it solo. Collabmates also serve as accountability buddies to support each other.

Question

Some of our members reminisce that they dreamt of becoming leaders in their youth. And they reflected that, growing up, that dream is challenged by the responsibilities, skills, and qualities that leaders work on. At that point, the decision to practice leadership skills is critical, as our member Fany Wedahuditama underlined, to transition from an occasional leader into an intermittent leader and then on to becoming a Trusted Leader, who is steady, humble, and keeps improving with a growth mindset.  

Together, we reflected on the powerful metaphor that describes The Occasional Leader as a Candle in the Wind, the Intermittent Leader as a Lantern, and the Trusted Leader as a Lighthouse. That makes the choice of where to go clear. Our workplaces and our world need more Trusted Leaders like Aisha, who show up with integrity, presence, and consistent care, and build deep trust through congruence and reliability. Trusted Leaders learn to be self-aware, resilient, and to model the values they speak about. They listen deeply, align teams, and speak with vision and groundedness.

Our question for you this week is: What are you learning from the Three Leaders story? Please let us know. And you’re welcome to join us on the journey to becoming Trusted Leaders.

P.S. We gratefully acknowledge the contributions of Fany Wedahuditama to this article.