INsight/ The Kissinger Way

Photo by Geralt on pixabay.

Manila, 24 May 2023 — An unexpected pointer to the essence of leadership. 

Story

It happened last month. A few weeks before his 100th birthday (on May 27), Henry Kissinger, a former US national security adviser and secretary of state and a renowned strategic thinker on international affairs, sat down for an interview with Zany Minton Beddoes, the editor of The Economist. Taking more than eight hours over two days, they analyzed today’s international challenges, of which there are many. Why is that important, you might wonder?

“Nobody alive has more experience in international affairs,” says Kenneth Cukier, The Economist’s deputy executive editor. “He oversaw some of the most controversial and consequential foreign policy decisions of the 20th century.” Since stepping down, Dr. Kissinger has been a consultant and emissary to monarchs, presidents, and prime ministers. “Whether you like him or not, it is worth hearing what he has to say,” according to Cukier. I agreed with that.

After listening to parts of the interview and reading through the transcript, what surprised me most was Dr. Kissinger’s recipe for resolving the superpower tensions that we observe today. Drawing on his many decades of diplomatic experience, the advice he offered was remarkably straightforward. He suggested that world leaders meet in person frequently and build a trusting relationship through regular conversations. That, in my view, can be applied by all leaders who find themselves in a conflict or deficit of trust.

Challenge

In this age of noisy and polarizing public discourse on social media, reaching agreements among leaders seems to be more challenging than ever. We have many more channels of communication available to us than during Dr. Kissinger’s diplomatic exploits in the past century. Yet for expert negotiators like him, the age-old principles for leadership still apply today. These are about engaging each other, privately, listening and understanding each other, and working on building trust as a basis for collaborative actions.

This is precisely what we work on with today’s generation of professionals who want to become trusted leaders and make a difference in our world. Through coaching, they learn how to have conversations that count, especially in their one-to-one calls or meetings. We explore how they can move the trust needle in each of their conversations, in order to build strong relationships. And they learn what it takes to lift their conversations to the third, transformational, level as often as possible. 

I felt inspired by the power and simplicity of Dr. Kissinger’s advice to leaders about resolving today’s conflicts, and also by his sense of optimism. “Look, my life has been difficult,” he said, “but it gives ground for optimism. And difficulty—it’s also a challenge. It shouldn’t always be an obstacle.” While warning that we “are not living up to it right now,” he pointed out that it is the duty of today’s leaders to see unprecedented challenges as great opportunities for leadership.

Question

Controversial as he may be for many of the foreign policy decisions he influenced, and vilified by some and praised by others, Dr. Kissinger’s legacy is as complex as the problems he took on during his exceptionally long career. That’s why I appreciated how his advice to leaders today cut to the core of leadership: building trust through relationships and conversations to reduce conflict and make collaboration happen.

My question for you this week is what you are doing to build better, trustful relationships in your work and life, by investing in regular one-to-one conversations. Have you already discovered how to work through the three levels of conversations to get to the third, transformational, level? For that to happen, you will need to show openness, some vulnerability, a readiness to give trust, and lots of patience and persistence. In respect to Dr. Kissinger’s age and experience, we could call that the Kissinger way.

If you would like to lift your leadership to the next level for extraordinary results in your work and life, book a free strategy call to explore how an intensive private three-month leadership coaching program can get you there. We call it the Leader in Transition program and I’m looking forward to our discussion.