INsight/ Your Leadership Fears

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

Manila, 30 November 2022 — What fears are stopping your leadership growth?

Story

It happened this week. In response to last week’s invitation to join the LEADyear 2023 Challenge to become a Trusted Leader, several readers mentioned how the insight led them to face a fear they — or their colleagues — have about leadership. For one, it was a fear to attract criticism when she would speak out as a leader. For another, it was about people who were fearful of self-identifying as a leader or a change-maker, because of the extra pressure that would bring. And there are more. The list of fears associated with leadership is long.

Interestingly, we all know what it feels like when the aspiring leader in us listens to a story of someone’s hero journey. While these stories touch us deeply in a positive way, they can also trigger fear and rejection that we aren’t as capable, or deserving, as the hero in the story. What we often forget, however, is that the protagonist didn’t start the story as a hero. That transformation happened during their journey. The lesson from such stories is, therefore, to challenge yourself, face your fear, and start the journey.

And there is more to it. The transformation to becoming a Trusted Leader will happen faster when you collaborate with others. While archetypal hero stories will inspire and trigger fear, what we actually see happening in our 21st century is that collaborating on leadership makes positive changes happen faster. It’s also more fun and rewarding to go on the journey together. Hence the invitation to take the LEADyear 2023 Challenge by working together with fellow leaders in a safe space.

Challenge

What about you? Which fear comes to your mind for leadership? Let’s mention some of the most common fears I have encountered in my leadership coaching work. The fear of failure, of making mistakes, is certainly widespread. It can hold you back from even getting started. The fear of criticism is also common. You worry about what others might think of you and your work, so you end up not putting your best foot forward. Related to these is the fear of being an impostor who is going to be found out.

Long ago in history, our fears helped us to survive in challenging conditions. Sticking out your head or taking the lead was a dangerous proposition. The risk of death was real. Today, the ancient parts of our brains are still working to keep us safe, and the result is that we, unnecessarily, get stuck in our own mediocrity. Our fears can also originate from challenges we experienced during our upbringing, like the fear of being lonely or even abandoned as a child. We found safe ways to deal with these challenges, and those mental programs still run in your brain today. Unnecessarily.

In her Harvard Business Review article Leaders, Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About Your Fears and Anxieties, Lauren C. Howe, an assistant professor at the Center for Leadership at the University of Zurich, discovered three ways for leaders to deal with fears. The first was to adopt a Hero style, relentlessly focusing on the positive. The second was to keep focusing on results like an unemotional Technocrat. And the third, which turned out to be the most effective in her research, was to become a Sharer, who learned to openly share both positive and negative experiences with their team at work. That kind of openness and sharing, with people you trust, and in a safe space, is what we practice in Grow3Leaders.

Question

As we saw, from our human evolution it is perfectly normal to experience fears. We all do. Moreover, several fears are especially common among leaders and aspiring leaders, even if not be talked about by the Heroes and Technocrats. Fortunately, however, one of the insights we gained during the Covid-19 pandemic was to become more accepting of our negative emotions, including our fears and anxieties. In many workplaces, the taboo on mentioning these has receded somewhat and we are learning how to deal with fears as a part of maintaining our mental health, also in the workplace. We can now give ourselves permission to become Sharers.

During the LEADyear 2023 Challenge to become a Trusted Leader, we will together explore and deal with many fears that threaten to stop leadership growth. Many operate in our subconscious, and we will bring them to light. Of course, it is only with an expanded self-awareness that we can deal with, and overcome such fears. In my experience, it makes a big difference when you practice sharing with trusted colleagues whom you have invited to take the challenge together with you. That’s where the benefits of the Sharer style identified by Prof. Howe will kick in.

My question for you this week is, first, what fears come up when you shine a light on what’s stopping you from growing as a leader or leveling up as a leader? Second, ask yourself if you will continue to muddle in mediocrity or decide work on overcoming your leadership fears. Personally, I was inspired this week by reading a special poem by Marianne Williamson. Let me quote some of her lines: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” To join the LEADyear 2023 Challenge, go ahead and set up a free call to discuss the fears you want to overcome.