INsight/ Dullness of Postponement

Photo showing a detail of Postponement by Ma Deva Padma, illustrator of Osho Zen Tarot.

Manila, 15 June 2022 — Trading in the dullness of grey for a life in full color.

Story

It happened in 1995. Susan Morgan Ostapkowicz, an Australian painter who is better known by her artist name Ma Deva Padma, completed a masterpiece in her life’s work. She published a collection of 79 pictures showing a range of typical emotions that we humans experience in our lives. Each story is supported by a compelling narrative to make it come alive even more in our awareness. Put together, her collection, the Osho Zen Tarot, offers a series of profound psychological insights into our human challenges and celebrations, pointing to choices we can make to develop our leadership. With its depth of wisdom, the pictures never fail to show me new perspectives on life. For our story today, let’s take a look at the fourth picture of her collection.

The story is entitled Postponement, and I was struck by its relevance to the challenges we face in our everyday life and work. I can see this theme coming up regularly in the experiences of the leaders I am coaching, and in my own experiences as well. In the picture — with the photo showing only a detail of the actual artwork — we see a woman who lives in a grey landscape, yet with a view through a window to a colorful landscape. As the artist explains, “through the window frame, she sees colors and light and aliveness, and while she would like to move there, she can’t quite manage to do it,” held back as she is by procrastination, avoidance, and postponement of her goals.

While her behavior of postponement may well be caused by her brain working to protect her from risks in an uncertain future, the artist describes how “the one and only result of postponing things is a dull and depressing feeling of incompletion and 'stuck-ness' today.” We can see that experience of dull stuck-ness reflected in the grey tones of the picture. To move forward, the artist’s encouragement is simple. As she explains, “the relief and expansiveness you will feel once you put aside all the dithering thoughts that are preventing you from acting now will make you wonder why you ever waited so long.” Compelling words that paint a positive vision. So how can we put Postponement aside?

Challenge

Because the Postponement story reflects such a common and powerful experience that we humans struggle with, it also surfaces, in one way or another, in most of my coaching work with leaders. The experience of Postponement is a common one. After all, when reaching for a bigger goal or new challenge, who doesn’t experience a critical questioning voice talking in their own head? And some of us don’t just hear one voice — often referred to as the saboteur’s voice — but a choir of voices. 

Keith Witt, a psychiatrist and author — and one of my mentors — encourages his readers not to suppress these critical voices but to befriend them instead. He explains that we can become the director of the choir of voices in our head and make them our partners in moving forward, rather than staying stuck. That takes some work, though, and it’s difficult to do that by yourself. From my coaching experiences, and informed by lessons learned from mentors including Keith Witt, I see three steps to overcoming Postponement. 

The first step is to become aware of your postponing behaviors. You do this by reflecting on what is going on and the voices in your head. Leaders discover that practicing reflection is essential. The second step is to transform your postponing behaviors and start generating new experiences. This usually involves working with a coach to identify limiting beliefs and engaging in a process of transforming them and learning how to direct the voices in your head. The third step is to execute your transformation by building strong habits and consistent behaviors, and a support system to keep you going.

Question

My question for you this week is what you are currently postponing in your work and life? When you reflect on your experience (first step), what benefits, if any, are you getting from postponement? Usually, there is none, except a sense of safety to stay in your comfort zone. 

Think about it. Will tomorrow or next week be any better or easier for you to take action? Coaches will say that the perfect time for action is now. It is actually also the only time for action because tomorrow never comes. Postponing doesn’t make things better or easier. What it does, though, is to keep you in a dull grey experience of stuck-ness.

What I find endlessly exciting is to work with leaders who have decided that they want to move forward and step into their next adventure instead of postponing it. They will self-identify as Leaders in Transition because they have enough of the stuck-ness and want to trade that in for a life of adventure in full colors. They want to navigate through the three steps to make that happen. If that sounds like you, then book a free strategy call and tell me what you want your leadership transition to look like, and where you want to start to put Postponement aside.