ACTivity/ Language for Leaders
/
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash.
Manila, 18 August 2021 — Choose words to use more and to stop using.
Story
It happened in 2016. During the Asia-Pacific Youth Exchange hosted by the Asian Development Bank, my fellow leadership coach Judee Quiazon and I teamed up with Booyoung Jang of the Urban Youth Academy in Korea to conduct a Young Leaders Program with a group of participants who had elected to join. Of the 15 program elements, one was about discovering the language that leaders use.
What we asked the young leaders to do was to compile two lists, one with words they wanted to use more frequently in their influencing work, and one with words to stop and avoid using as much as possible. It didn’t take them long to do complete their task. They quickly listed lots of words and then decided on which listed they belonged. Together, we realized how valuable it is when we learn those skills early in our professional life, so we have less to unlearn later on.
Not to worry, though, if you haven’t worked on this yet. I found that changing your leadership language is possible at any stage in your career. The leaders I help, especially those who take coaching to navigate important transitions, will learn how to make better choices in the words they use in their language. That's a part of working on their effective communication skills as a leader. More than that, they also discover how to speak a number of leadership languages that help them connect with different audiences and influence change in a variety of situations. Where it all starts, though, is with some straightforward basics.
Challenge
Why is the language we use as leaders so important? When you let this question sink in for a while, you realize that the power of language goes much further than letting us manage our operational tasks and basic exchanges every day. What I learned from my mentors in leadership and communication is that, at a deep level, we use language to frame the realities we experience, as well as the life that we want ourselves and others to experience. We often refer to those as possibilities or opportunities.
Leaders, then, are people who find new ways to frame and reframe our current realities and experiences. They also see opportunities to create new possibilities in work and life. That’s what influencing positive change is all about. And what’s the main tool they use to do that? You probably see where this goes: it is language. The words you use can make a big difference in how you make yourself and others feel in a situation, and in the actions that you and others are willing to take.
So what are some of the basics to look for in a language for leaders? From my experience, here are three to start with. They apply whether you are talking to yourself or to others. Leaders choose words to:
Discover or convey the power of possibility.
Stimulate an action that you, and others, can take.
Show up as a Multiplier instead of a Diminisher.
Question
Let’s move from the abstract to the concrete. If this talk about language for leaders makes sense to you, then it’s time to get to work and put it to the test. I ask you to find out what difference your language makes, for yourself and for others around you. The young leaders at the Asia-Pacific Youth Exchange got into the activity quickly, and so can you. Are you ready to do the same?
If that’s a Yes, then go ahead and make two lists of 10 words. On the left are 10 words that will help you show up as a leader, a multiplier, and someone who empowers yourself and others. On the right are 10 words you want to stop using to help you step back from diminishing yourself and others and from making positive change more difficult than it is.
Once you make progress, you can expand your two lists to 25 words each. While some of your words can be longer and include phrases, can you also find some very short words to include on each list? Once you have your lists drawn up, start to practice using your chosen words more frequently, and stop using the words you want to avoid. It may be difficult at first, and you will get better at it when you keep practicing. Want feedback on your list of words and your practice? Then get in touch.