ACTivity/ Asking Good Questions

Photo by Trung Thanh on Unsplash

Manila, 11 November 2020 — How to ask good questions.

Good leaders ask great questions. And even asking good questions will help you to influence positive change in your workplace. So how do you ask good questions?

What you know already

When I tell you that there are three types of questions: open, closed, and leading, you probably are not surprised. All of us have heard these terms before. Now, when I ask you to double-click on these three types, and tell me in what kind of situations you would use these types, it gets a bit more complicated.

So far, we’ve talked about knowledge that we digest in our head. More is at stake when we get our hearts involved, with our emotions, concerns, and fears. And that helps to explain the difference between what you know and what you actually do when it comes to asking questions. 

Refresher and reminder

From observing many workplace and casual conversations, and role-playing exercises in training sessions, I have noticed that asking good questions is easier said than done. What I see people do in meetings and conversations is often different from what they know they should and could do. 

So, consider this post as both a refresher about the basics of asking questions, and a reminder to practice and thereby build your muscle for asking good questions.  

As with all of the leadership topics I explore with you, there is no on-size fits-all solution. That’s because leadership always takes place in a context. What works well in one situation might not be a good choice for you in another situation. For you to make a good choice of leadership behavior in any situation you find yourself in, you need to develop your self-awareness, your situational awareness, and your leadership skill set.

Type 1: Open Questions

Open questions help you in opening up a conversation. They create space for exploring possibilities, and they almost always have the effect of empowering the other persons, especially if your active listening skills are up to par. What that means is that you are able to zip your mouth after asking your open question and be fully present for the other person(s).

From experience in my coaching and training practice, I found that many leaders still have to build their muscle to tap the power that these questions unlock for influencing positive change. Are you one of them?

Type 2: Closed Questions

What’s easy to remember about the use of closed questions is that they bring a conversation to a close. That can be helpful when you want to get clarity quickly. Is it a yes or a no? A this or a that? Or, in an extreme form used by confrontational leaders, are you with me or against me? 

You use closed questions to create distinctions and get a confirmations from the other side. Once you found out what you wanted, you can move on. The transaction is done. Whether it is equally helpful to the other side remains to be seen. Closed questions do not create space for exploring new possibilities. Many things are left unsaid, unexplored. While saving time, you don’t empower the other side like you do when you use open questions. 

Type 3: Leading Questions 

The third type is called leading question because your intention, your direction, or your idea already shows in the way you ask your question. For example, “When shall we have our next meeting?” assumes that there will be a next meeting. You assume, you lead, you narrow the direction. You don’t stop the conversation as with a closed question, but you limit it.

As leaders, you might find yourself in situations where you want to motivate others for an action that you already have in your mind. You lead them (in)to it. This can of course be used with any quality of intention, good or bad. When good, it’s handholding, and when bad, it’s manipulation.

What about you?

Now that we have gone over the three types as a refresher, which of these types do you use most often and least often? And why? 

You may have the basic skills for asking open questions, yet in the heat of the moment of an intense discussion, you might fall short of using your best questioning skills and end up asking more closed and leading questions than you had intended. It takes training and frequent practice and feedback to build your question muscle and awareness into top form so you can effectively use the power of questions in any situation.

In the #Grow3Leaders community, we focus on the power of questions this month, starting with getting out of the Three Question Traps and moving on to explore and practice using all three question types and getting feedback. Learning together Out Loud.