INsight/ An Intimate Level

Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash

Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash


Jimbaran, 24 October 2018 — Does your emotional intelligence empower you to connect with people at an intimate level?

Working with leaders in Australia and Bali over the past days, we witnessed how moments of extraordinary connection were created by sharing deeply personal stories of passion and perseverance in the face of severe challenges.

Some of the speakers shared their personal story for the first time. As they mustered their courage to open up to an audience who listened closely, they instantly brought the conversation to a deeper level.

Communicating with your heart is what emotional intelligence (EI) is all about, according to Kris Girrell, who in his TED talk defines EI as the ability to connect with another person on an intimate level.

To help us increase our EI, Girrell offers a tool to help us recognize and distinguish specific emotions in ourselves and in people around us. He calls it The Periodic Table of Human Emotions. I highly recommend that you check it out and get familiar with each of the 122 emotions shown in the table.

Girrell also explains how grief is the birthplace of compassion, and how compassion in turn empowers your relationships to become more open, with more awareness and appreciation of the emotions that show up in you and in the people around you. 

Reflecting on Girrell’s message, it becomes clear that your conversations to influence people for change will be more impactful if what you say comes from your heart and reaches the heart of your audience. President Nelson Mandela referred to that skill as speaking in their language.

Harvard professors Kotter and Cohen reached a similar understanding in their book The Heart of Change, where they draw on the results of their change management research in companies around the world. 

When you open up to speak from the heart and learn to speak the language of you audience, you can create extraordinary moments of deep connection at an intimate level with the people you engage with.

Go ahead to practice and see for yourself what that makes possible for you as go about influencing positive changes around you.

If you want to learn more about growing your leadership, you are welcome to write me or set up a call. I'd love to hear from you. 

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