Manila, 25 November 2020 — Are you known as a leader who tells or asks?

At your work, do you lead by telling people what to do, or by frequently using the power of questions?

In my observation, most executives and professionals excel in telling others what to do. And, as you are reading this blog on leadership, chances are that you are an expert at this too, yet hopefully with an interest to expand your leadership style.

Whether you find your inspiration for this style in your long experience, your senior position, or in your fresh enthusiasm and new-found purpose in life, there is a good reason to lead others by telling. By doing so, you demonstrate and share your knowledge, experience, and passion to them.

However, there are downsides to this style of leading.  

Tell or Ask

Most of my coaching clients share with me, and my own experiences confirm this, that there are more leaders in the workplace who engage in telling than in asking. 

Sometimes, leaders will resort to giving others their advice packaged into a question, which then becomes a leading question. Other times, they ask people why they didn’t do things in a certain way (their preferred way). Most of the time, they give instructions or advice.

While telling others what to do may well be your default style at present, in my experience it is rarely the most helpful action you can bring a meeting or conversation to generate a highly productive outcome.

Hence our theme this month, that leaders use the power of questions.

Influencing a Result

Going back to the three meta-questions in Questions to Lead, you have several options when it comes to selecting your most helpful action in your meeting or conversation. 

For example, you can decide to influence your audience to change perspective or to create new possibilities, trigger immediate action, check the procedures, build their confidence, involve other people, or to connect several solutions. How does that sound?

Each of these purposes can be activated by using the power of questions. In most cases, you might be surprised that your influencing into any of these directions will take you less time than talking, persuading, and overcoming resistance. That is, when you learn and practice to ask the right questions. 

And there is more: while it’s difficult to tell your boss and higher-ups what they should do, using questions is eminently possible anytime and offers you a great way to influence in any direction, including upwards!

There is only one way to discover this for yourself. Yes, you got it: through practice and experimentation with a number of different questions. You will also discover the rewards of successfully challenging people by asking questions, from seeing how it empowers them, builds a deeper relationship, stimulates life-long learning, triggers innovation, and more.

Questions in Colors: A Quiz

In the quest to Work In All Colors (worldviews) to become a better leader, you can also practice asking questions in colors. Let’s say that you want to influence teammates to get on board with you to solve a problem that has come up in your project. 

Here are some open questions you might ask your teammates using the different color languages. Each of these questions activates a different kind of energy, Einstein might say, and they can all be helpful to your team to overcome this challenge. 

Taking this as a quiz, which color do you think that each of these questions reflects? 

• How to find a new solution to this problem? 

• Who do we need to consult on this issue?

• What do we want to achieve and by when?

• What solutions will help us move forward together on this challenge? 

• What are the important steps to address this problem?

• How did your [group, organization] deal with this problem in the past?

• What can we do to get the ball rolling right away?

Do write me to share your answers, and I will share the results with my readers (sign up for weekly leadership insights here. 

Power of Reflection

After you determine which color (worldview) each of these questions reflects, consider which of these questions resonated with you most? And which question do you think would resonate well with your boss and each of the teammates you work with? 

Conversely, ask yourself which of these questions would challenge you most and get out of your comfort zone to change your thinking and generate a new experience that you can learn from?

Remember that the responses you receive to the color questions often point to a set of complementary solutions. That’s valuable because high-performing teams will always seek to build on the diversity among their members.

So, whether you find yourself in a 1:1 conversation, a team meeting or you are presenting to a group of people, using questions in colors can help you influence change for a better outcome. 

And that’s what leading is all about. 

Community of Practice 

Don’t forget to explore and practice the tips I shared earlier in the Three Question Traps, the art of Asking Good Questions, and Questions to Lead.

If you are making up your mind to expand your leadership behaviors using 21st-century skills, then go ahead and invite three of your colleagues to come with you and join us in the Grow3Leaders community, which offers you a space to learn and practice.

Joining is free of charge—not free of commitment.