Manila, 27 March 2024 — What if a colleague holds a wrong or outdated perception about you?

Story

It happened this month. A leader asked how to handle a situation in which a colleague was holding a wrong perception about her leadership. In my experience as coach, this happens very often. What should we do?

A good starting point is to open our minds and hearts to the possibility of a blind spot occurring on our side. The colleague may well have seen something in our behavior that we haven’t spotted ourselves yet. How do we find out if this is the case?

In almost all cases, the best way forward is to set up a one-to-one conversation, explain why we are curious to find out more from them, and then use an open-ended question to ask for specific feedback to help us improve. 

Challenge

Skillfully asking for feedback to be given—in an effective way—is an essential behavior for leaders to practice. We can do much better than simply blurting out “Can you give me feedback?”

When we ask for feedback, many things happen in the brain of the feedback giver and our brain. If we handle the conversation skillfully, it can yield many benefits for both sides.

We often remind leaders that asking for feedback is about more than improving our performance. It also updates the perceptions others hold about us which might be right, wrong, or outdated.

Question

When colleagues share feedback with us, it is based on a perception about us that their minds have gathered and processed over time. During periods when we are rapidly growing our leadership, that perception may well be (very) outdated.

One-to-one conversations in which we skillfully ask for feedback are, therefore, excellent opportunities to update the perception that colleagues have of us. While we benefit from the feedback they share, they can benefit by updating their perception of us.

When have you last asked a colleague for feedback on your leadership behaviors? That’s my question for you this week. Feedback is one of the 12 leadership behaviors we work on in our Grow3Leaders international community of practice. You’re welcome to join us with three colleagues you invite to learn out loud together.