Split, 16 October 2024 — How leaders overcome connection gaps.

Story

It happened last month. WooChong Um, a former managing director at the Asian Development Bank who stood out as an early champion for tackling climate change, shared that “One of the most inspiring aspects of working in climate is connecting with the true agents of change—those deeply committed to driving meaningful impact and paving the way for organizations that are newer to the climate journey.“ He meant how to connect with influencers.

Working under WooChong Um when he was a rising star in ADB’s leadership team taught me a lot. He excelled in management as well as leadership which is still rare among executives. He championed distributed leadership by encouraging both teams and individuals to shine, giving them ample space to do so. And he excelled in strategic leadership, with a clear view on climate as a critical change facing Asia and the world. 

There is a lot to digest in his quote when it comes to the practice of leadership and how to develop ourselves as leaders. First, about the role played by “true agents of change.” Second, the focus on “driving meaningful impact.” Third, the insight about “paving the way” for others with less experience to come on board. Underlying it all is the word “connecting.” How do agents of change connect with each other? And why don’t we see more of that happening?

Challenge

Connecting with other leaders is not as easy as it seems. We can communicate with many people without making strong connections. We have come across many cases where leaders fail to connect, and I’m sure you have too. It’s not because of a lack of good intentions. In fact, usually it’s the opposite. Leaders fail to connect because they are full of ideas and passion. Let’s look at three obstacles that can prevent leaders from making strong connections. We call them the Three Connection Gaps.

To start with, The Mind Gap is hard to see when you’re full of yourself and your own thoughts, so that there is no space for others. No space for curiosity. No awareness of the need to open your mind to others. No time to reach out to others in a conversation that expands you. Your time is spent mostly ‘Telling’ others. There is no two-way exchange with your audience: no conversation, no buy-in, and therefore little or no result.

Years ago, an industry representative at an international conference in Brisbane summed it up, “If you’re waiting at your own table for people to come and join you, that’s not going to help. What you should do instead is to meet other stakeholders at their table.” I remember how WooChong Um excelled at making connections that way. I always saw him walking around and making and deepening connections. In our Grow3Leaders community, we deliberately build the habit of ‘walking over’ to meet people where they are and find out where they’re at. That builds strong connections with other leaders.

Question

In case you’re wondering about the second and third Connection Gaps, The Heart Gap is about failing to emotionally connect with others and know what it feels like to stand in their shoes. Without care, empathy, and compassion we lack a heartfelt understanding of what they need and want. This gap causes countless leaders to fail to make meaningful connections.

Finally, The Language Gap is about failing to search for the language that connects their hearts and minds with yours. This happens when you talk on a different wavelength from what your audience needs to hear to connect well with you. Chances are that you keep broadcasting in your favorite leadership language rather than speaking their language. That won’t work. Leaders will, therefore, work on expanding their skills to speak several leadership languages so that they can connect effectively with diverse audiences. 

As agents of change, how will you and your team forge deep connections with fellow leaders? In the Leader in Transition Program and the Grow3Leaders community of practice, we explore how to overcome the Three Connection Gaps and learn to connect effectively with other leaders to drive change together. As WooChong Um said, connecting with true agents of change is how we drive meaningful impact. How will you make that happen in the projects in your workplace?