Manila, 20 April 2022 — For confidence, what matters is the size of your frame.

“When the leader lacks confidence, the followers lack commitment.” — John C. Maxwell

Story

It happened this week. A group of leaders I worked with expressed their concern about building confidence and overcoming fear. This is, of course, a concern that human beings have faced since the dawn of history. Kudos to these leaders for voicing it too, and making a commitment to work on it. Building confidence and overcoming fear is definitely a challenge for leaders who want to inspire and motivate other people in their workplace to make positive change happen. In the quote, John C. Maxwell, a leadership expert who helped me get started on the leadership journey, highlighted that confidence is absolutely necessary for leaders. And he raised the bar further by saying that leaders will remain confident regardless of the circumstances. Do other leaders agree?

From a survey of what has been said by presidents and their spouses, as well as by military generals, spiritual leaders, CEOs, sports coaches, and management specialists from around the world, there is indeed a consensus that a leader’s self-confidence is very important, both for themselves and for the people they work with and work for. Vince Lombardi, a legendary sports coach, added that confidence is contagious, and so is the lack of confidence. So, should a lack of confidence hold you back from developing your leadership? No, says Asim Premji, a business leader in India, who described leadership as the self-confidence of working with people smarter than you. That resonated with me.

To overcome fear, ruminating by yourself is certainly not going to help, especially when you hear that critical voice in your head that holds you back. Rather, it’s by working with other people that we develop our self-confidence. That’s how your best will come out, and how confidence will become our friend, as Lao Tze, a philosopher, wrote more than two millennia ago. A similar tip comes from Seth Godin, a marketing specialist who has been a mentor on my leadership journey. The secret of leadership, he writes, is simple. “Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. Go there. People will follow.” That message of hope reminds me of Nike’s slogan to just do it. So what’s the challenge that we need to tackle along the way?

Challenge

In my experience, building self-confidence is about extending our comfort zone. How about we visualize this? Imagine your present comfort zone as an imaginary picture frame that you hold in front of you with both hands, as the man does in the photo. Now, imagine several crises (leadership development opportunities) appearing as bright flashes in your field of vision. Some will pop up inside the frame. No problem, you know that you can handle them. Several others, however, will pop up outside the frame. That’s where your challenge lies. What will you do with those? 

Essentially, you have two choices. You can reject the opportunities because they are outside your frame, your comfort zone, your level of confidence. This happens to a lot of people, and the critical voice in your head will help you find extra arguments to reject the challenge. Your second choice, however, is to challenge yourself to stretch the size of your frame with your hands so that the opportunity will pop up inside your larger frame. That way, you are giving yourself space to engage with the crises and opportunities, in a bigger frame. You expand your comfort zone and stretch your confidence. How do you like the look, sound, and feel of this challenge? 

What the leaders who walk ahead of you are saying is that when you expand your frame of reference, the frame that stands for the size of your comfort zone, you will increase your level of confidence. Doing so is not simply cognitive. It’s a challenge to be experienced, to be felt. Like Godin said, you have to “go there” and people will follow. That experience is captured in what we call the 70-20-10 rule of leadership development, which points out that 70% of your growth will come from taking on challenges. Just 10% will come from videos and books. And, importantly, 20% will come from you getting feedback and support from fellow leaders and your coach.

Question

So what will be your route to becoming a confident leader? Will you rely on the 10% by being uplifted regularly with compelling talks and inspiring books? Or do you want to go for 100% and build your leadership confidence by challenging yourself to learn and practice in accordance with the 70-20-10 rule of leadership development? 

From what I have seen people do, the outcome of the 10% approach is uncertain. Even though each talk and book can feel like a banana that tastes so good, most people don’t get to where they want to go by taking that route. At the end of the day, it’s the 100% challenge that will make you grow your confidence and leadership like a bamboo, fast, strong, flexible, and ready for the inevitable storms. I see that in the leaders I work with, who take on challenges to expand their frames and get the support they need.

So which one is it going to be for you, banana or bamboo? Sticking with your comfortable small frame or challenging yourself to expand your frame? Growing your confidence as a leader is necessary, and it happens by walking the path shown by Godin. By taking on the challenge, your growing confidence becomes your friend, and you grow together up to the level where, as Maxwell said, you can remain confident regardless of the circumstances. That’s a high bar for sure. And it’s what our world needs in leaders today, at all levels and in each workplace. If you choose the bamboo way and decide to stretch your frame, book a Free Strategy Call so we can discuss about growing your confidence.