Manila, 28 July 2021 — How the coaching style can surprise you.

“What surprised me the most is the number of ideas and perspectives that colleagues bring up when they think and share with me what they, or we, can do.” – Celine Marchenay

Story

It happened in 2020. Celine Marchenay, a water professional in Melbourne, Australia, discovered that she could use a coaching style to expand her leadership skills in helping her colleagues. That didn’t come naturally. “As an engineer, when someone came to me with a challenge, my tendency was to solve it.” But then, she realized that "offering solutions to people was often not effective." And that made her think of a different way to help people.

The turning point came when Celine saw a demonstration of a coaching-style conversation. She was intrigued. “It looked and sounded so simple to ask questions and let the person on the other side think deeper and deeper before coming up with answers themselves.” She remembers seeing the result. “With the power of the coaching style, I saw how the colleague was able to articulate what was troubling her, identify her own solutions, and feel more positive and in control about driving a change in her life.” 

After seeing that example, Celine decided to try this out for herself. Using simple techniques and open questions, she started by coaching a colleague who was stuck in a project task and reluctant to ask for advice. “What I saw was that my colleague applied more of her strategies than the suggestions I brought up to the table. What I suggested to her did not appeal or spoke to her as well as her own ideas.” Soon, Celine also applied her new skill outside work. “When my son identified a challenge he thought he could not overcome by himself, it turned out that he could after some simple coaching.”

Challenge

Learning to use a coaching style in conversations comes with challenges. Celine mentions one that she encountered soon after starting. “At first, when I asked an open question, I found it challenging to accept and welcome the silence that usually followed. I wanted to fill that silence with some words, as I felt uncomfortable and thought the other person might feel uncomfortable too.” 

That, however, turned out to be not the case. What Celine found was that “when people think of a response, the silence does not bother them as they are looking for something which keeps them focused.” A valuable and unexpected insight. “What surprised me the most,” Celine said, “is the number of ideas and perspectives that colleagues bring up when they think and share with me what they, or we, can do.” These included ideas that she had not thought of.

Another challenge Celine discovered was what Michael Bungay-Stanier, a coach, has called Taming Your Advice Monster. Hence her tips for leaders who want to unpack the power of the coaching style: “I recommend that you first learn to ask open questions and practice active listening, which is hard and needs your attention every day.” 

Question

In closing, I asked Celine what question she would like to offer to interested leaders. Here is what she came up with: 

“What is getting you interested in learning to use the coaching style?”

That’s a powerful open question, and Celine and I are looking forward to hearing your response.